It's official - badgers are evil! At least that is what farmers and hunters think. We know better though: badgers are lovely, cuddly creatures with a passion for mischief. Their cheeky grins effortlessly carry them through life. They are cunning but certainly not evil. Read a newspaper report here to find out more. It is certainly a disturbing article and we, here at WeAreAllBadgers, have lost large crumbly chunks of respect for both farmers and hunters: so feel free to abuse them. We suggest hunting the hunters and farming the farmers. But we won't be complaining if you start farming the hunters and hunting the farmers. It's totally up to you. Let us know how you get on though - the most impressive acts of revenge will win a freshly caught fish of your choice (from a limited selection of freshly caught fish - see side of package for details). Photographic evidence will be required to claim your prize. Note that WeAreAllBadgers does not accept any liabilty for these killings; but thanks you for them.
One cheeky badger's mischievous plan backfired recently. Boris the Badger, well-known for his tomfoolery and practical jokes, staged a fake attack on an elderly couple, notorious for their dislike of badgers. His aim was to recreate the feeling of a 'bizarre horror movie' for the couple, which he overwhelmingly succeeded upon doing. However, his hilarious plan backfired when he was shot and killed. Boris will be fondly remembered by all who knew him. Read a newspaper report on the story here. Notice how they have put an entirely different spin on the story. Don't believe everything you read.
There appears to be a badger uprising - another badger attack has taken place. This young badger has no doubt heard of brave Boris' story and has tried to continue on his good work. The un-named assailant succeeded in trapping a young family in their house and all the while giving them a spooky stare - which scared the beejeebees out of them. His plan went awry when his love of jam sandwiches led him into a trap created by a badger-trapping expert. The police then arrived and shot and killed the crusading young badger (last sentence omitted from child-friendly article below - the information was gleaned from further intensive research from WAAB staff). Read all about it here.
We suggest you also investigate the link within the article to find out more about nicer badgers. It profiles a young boy named Alex, who looks very much like a girl. And he loves badgers. A warning though: it is not pleasant reading as a headline immediately jumps out at you proclaiming 'worm shortage' - setting a bleak undertone to the proceedings. Other disturbing headlines include 'starving to death' and the mysterious 'leave them food'. The worm shortage was a direct result of the hot weather we enjoyed during the summer. The worms couldn't cope with the sweltering heat, and hence stayed underground, away from the hungry mouths of the now worried badgers. No one noticed this problem - as we lazed around in our underwear - except, that is, for badger loving she-boy, Alex. Alex notified the authorities of this problem and all was well in the world once again. We have duly rewarded Alex's good work and keen sense of duty with an extra special gift - an official 'Badger Lover' badge, handmade by the fine folk at Badgers Direct, and only bestowed to true lovers of badgers (proof, photographic or otherwise, is required for any claims of badger lovery - an official badge will then be forwarded to you). Well done, Alex - we hope you wear it with pride as you continue to love your badgers. Let us not forget to spare a thought to the plight of the badgers next summer, as they continue their proud struggle to survive in an unforgiving world.