Colour of the Day

Today's award goes to the Colour Green. Congratulations to Green! Some fantastic work with grass and trees for centuries has finally paid off. Green has helped to make the countryside a relaxing and beautiful place to visit. Despite mass industrialisation in the developed world, Green has carried on bravely. He is also one of the founder members of the appeal to save the rainforests, and despite his lack of direct involvement in recent years, he still remains an important figurehead from which others can follow with pride.

Some Green is displayed below for your viewing pleasure. If you would like a large printer-friendly copy of the Colour of the Day winner Green, then click the image below. You have our permission to distribute copies to friends, family or work colleagues. Framed, the image of Green would make a beautiful Birthday or Christmas present, perhaps for someone you love dearly, or a fitting final gift for someone on their deathbed.

Peruse the extracts below, supplied with kind permission from Colour News Weekly - the number one stop for all your Colour news and gossip.

Changes afoot in the countryside?

Green's contract with trees, hedges, bushes and grass (The Grass and Leaves Contract) is due to expire in just 4 years (It was signed way back in 1007, prior to that grass was Yellow and leaves were Pink; it was then deemed more sensible to combine them into one contract). The hot favourite to get the new contract is Red. Yellow and Blue have also expressed an interest, although insiders are saying that Blue would have to fund the deal by selling off his Sky Contract. It has also been revealed that Pink With Purple Spots' involvement in The Grass and Leaves Contract was in fact a joke. For that indiscretion, Pink With Purple Spots may be banded from further bidding for up to 50 years and, additionally, their Under-5's Children's Socks Contract may be re-allocated. If that is the case then Yellow And Pink Stripes may finally get themselves a contract after so many years of unemployment. It should be noted that if Green were to lose the contract then it is not only the grass and leaves themselves that will change Colour. There would have to be follow-on changes, for example many thousands of great landscape paintings would have to be repainted accordingly. And the bottom half of the Welsh flag would also have to be recoloured. Welsh fundamentalists will not be pleased.

Red rage!

The Colour Allocation Authority (caa) are the official administrative body behind the awarding of contracts. They ensure that all contracts are carried out fully and properly and oversee the bidding process. They have the final say in any contract matter. One very important duty of the caa is to ensure that any one Colour does not have a monopoly and dominate the landscape with their hue. Current concerns are with Red, who has not been shy about making his ambitions public knowledge. He is very keen on taking over The Grass and Leaves Contract, The Dog Fur Contract (currently in a splintered format with several separate responsibilities for White, Black, Grey, Brown, Light Brown and Tan; constant bickering between the above have resulted in the probable future of the format being combined after many years of uncertainty) and The Gravel and Dirt Contract, which incidentally now officially includes tarmac. Rumours suggest that he also has an interest in taking over the Sky Contract from Blue combined with the Sun Contract from Yellow, with the intention of dominating the sky. Red has neither confirmed or denied this rumour, but Anti-Red campaigners are taking this opportunity to Blacken (sorry Black) his name and conjure up the image of Red creating a 'hell on earth' scenario and some extreme groups even call for a complete de-Redding of the world, so that a thorough investigation can be carried out. Many of us know that Red has been encroaching on Blue's sky for many years now and nothing seems to be done about it. The caa continue to deny these rumours. Early morning or late evening, witnesses say, is when Red seems to strike most.

A Black and White world

The world existed for millions of years before the realisation that Colour would greatly add to the enjoyment of life. The world-wide call for Colour brought thousands of different Colours crawling from under rocks and from the ocean. It was a free for all, with objects sometimes changing Colour every few seconds. This had to be controlled and monitored and so the caa was created, just over 2000 years ago, to organize the allocation of colour. The years Before Colour (bc), people and objects existed in just Black and White and Shades of Grey. They had never experienced Colour before. The present day people are used to Colour now, and the thought of going back to those primitive times is something we all fear. The caa are there to prevent that from happening. But for many years now, we increasingly live under the very real threat of returning to those Colourless times. Rebel Colours, many of whom were not allowed into the Colour Pool have been plotting to overthrow the caa and enforce a different kind of Colour allocation system, or more likely, and more alarming, the complete eradication of Colour. While Black and White and Shades of Grey are apparently not directly affiliated with these rogue Colours they would not be adverse to returning to such times. The possibility that they may be involved is currently being looked into. White dismisses this as a 'vicious attack against the already weak minority group of Shades'.

The Trescelin fiasco

The caa have keep many recent attacks under control and would not wish to see a repeat of the Trescelin fiasco of ad 1765 (Anno Dyus). Trescelin was refused entry into The Colour Pool 10 years previous due to 'inherent flaws in personality that may result in a lack of colouring for many if not most of the specified areas and objects' (source: caa report on candidates that have been refused entry into The Colour Pool, ad 1755). It should be noted however that many Colours that have been refused entry into The Colour Pool have settled down to honest, decent lives. Some have even been recoloured themselves. Of course, Trescelin did not act favourably towards this decision. He planned his attack for several years with a number of other notorious refused entries of The Colour Pool: Restina, Floase and Junipera. These Colours have never been seen by most people. Click here for archive footage these rarely seen Colours. Their attack caused much confusion throughout the world because everything was recoloured to Trescelin for several weeks. The caa finally got the situation under control after a tip-off from Magnolia, well-known for her curtain-twitching habits. Trescelin was arrested along with fellow trouble-makers, Floase and Junipera. They are still imprisoned today, in the tightest of security complexes, run by QuickFix Security Solutions. Restina is still at large and is assumed to be still a threat. Sightings of Restina coloured objects have been reported over the years since. The caa suspects that he is trying to communicate with other dissidents. A major attack could well be imminent.

Transparent problems

At the time of the colouring of the world, the caa decreed that certain things would be Transparent and would remain so indefinitely. Laws were put in place to ensure that Transparent's contract with glass and water could not be altered. How people survived with Black water in the years bc is hard to believe. If the situation were to be reversed now it would cause havoc in the world. That situation is closer than we think as Transparent has revealed that he is considering retirement in the near future. Whether he is serious or not, or as many spectators think, is out for a major pay rise, these are major problems that need to be addressed sooner rather than later. With this in mind, the caa are currently working on several contingency plans if Transparent cannot be convinced to continue with the role. One suggestions is to let Blue carry on the Colouring for water as, and I quote from a prominent caa figure, 'Most people won't even notice the difference!' Controversial words, but spoken at a time when the caa is under considerable amounts of pressure.

Notes on the caa

Some have even written bc as Before Creation as they see the addition of Colour into the world as the true beginning of life. The first Colour pioneers are seen in some eyes as Gods and are worshiped as such. The first members of the caa certainly shaped the course of history. They have changed the world into what we know it as today. Many people are not even aware of existence of the caa and would not believe you if you told them that faeces used to be Yellow (pre ad 200) or that blood used to be Green (pre ad 608). The thought of aliens having Green blood is not so strange now! And yes, before you ask, Royalty did used to have Blue blood. It was altered to Red to conform with the rest of humanity as there was no longer any need to distinguish from both groups, as the role and influence of the Royalty has, and continues to be in decline.

Latest news bulletins

More problems in Black and White

Black and White and Shades of Grey have been making headlines recently as they disagree with their continued non-inclusion into the Colour of the Day competition - on the technicality that they are a Shade. They are demanding to have equal rights. The caa is considering a new competition, Shade of the Day, to appease them.

Transparency issues

Transparent's recent threat to retire has caused a lot of worry about the future of glass and water. An overlooked problem was the colouring of air itself. It has been taken for granted for years that you cannot see air, but that has been due to the hard work of Transparent. This news has only just surfaced and the caa are quite rightly very embarrassed about it. It looks like Transparent was keeping this quiet; a major pay rise should be coming his way - and we think he intends to accept it. He can ask for virtually anything because he knows that we can't start Colouring air Green for example; that would make life very hard indeed!

Red in the face

Red's lawyers have just revealed that they have found a loop-hole in his part-time 'Red in the face' contract that will enable them to upgrade it to a full-time contract without any opposition. This is a powerful bargaining tool for Red in his desire for power. He has threatened to take advantage of this and that would mean that not only the caa will be embarrassed. The millions of embarrassed people will be very embarrassed! Constantly.

Blue Quits!

Read more here.

Colour of the Day - Previous Winners

Click there for previous winners of the Colour of the Day competition!

Note: The word 'day' in 'colour of the day' is used in it's loosest sense.

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