Yes, that's right: a free cheese roll is yours! Simply print out this page and take it to any cheese roll retailer. They will happily present you with your 100% free cheese roll, courtesy of Badgers Direct - Official sponsors of We Are All Badgers in association with the British Cheese Roll Appreciation Society. Terms and Conditions apply, see below.
The British Cheese Roll Appreciation Society (formally the Cheese Roll Appreciation Party before they inexplicably changed their name) promotes the consumption and usage of cheese rolls in all social circles. The goals of the bcras are threefold: to promote the cheese roll as an object of idolatry as well as a fine consumable; to make cheese rolls available to all regardless of social standing; and, finally, to kill birds. Below are some cheese roll proverbs to help you through the day. Note that you may well think these to be familiar. They have been mutilated in recent years by various bodies to meet their own goals. Guilty groups include the Apple Appreciation Society, the Fire Love Group and the British Broth Appreciation Society. The bcras would like to take this opportunity to officially state that it hates all other appreciation societies. The proverbs below are presented in their original format as used by our forefathers. Please use but do not abuse.
A cheese roll a day keeps the doctor away.
Too many cooks spoil the cheese roll.
Every cloud has a cheese roll.
Out of the frying pan and into the cheese roll.
Kill two birds with one cheese roll.
Correction: The last entry is not an proverb - it is meant to be taken literally.
Terms and Conditions: 1) Only one cheese roll per customer 2) Cannot be exchanged for cash value 3) Offer ends day after tomorrow 4) Cannot be exchanged for cheese and tomato roll or a cheese and pickle roll or any other combination of cheese and something rolls. Only cheese rolls will be given. 5) The cheese roll must not be abused or subject to any form of mental torment, but it may be thrown at two birds simultaneously with the intention of killing them (maiming will not be tolerated) 6) Offer applies to UK citizens and everyone else except birds and sloths (a well-known bird sympathizer) 7) Correction: Offer excludes all birds apart from owls - owls are very welcome to claim their 100% free cheese roll 8) You must appear slighly demented and crazed in order to obtain your 100% free cheese roll 9) Barking would also help
Important: waab, bd and bcras take no responsibility for any violence and subsequent injury (or death) that ensues from the attempted use of this token. Any correspondence regarding the matter will be immediately destroyed.