The world is reeling from the shocking news that the popular colour, blue, has quit, complaining of long hours and poor working conditions.
Blue was suffering from a serious case of the Monday blues, as he was seen disappearing down a drain, at which point it appeared that the sky dropped out of the, er, sky.
A distraught Polly Pipkins, from Derby, witnessed blue disappearing down her drain. "Some people would say I'm obsessed with the colour blue - I've spent ten years just buying things that are blue, and everything else that's not blue, I've painted them blue. Personally, I wouldn't say I'm obsessed, but I've got no reason to live anymore."
Steve Thompson, from Southend, added his voice to the disgruntled masses: "My favourite colour was blue - if this is how he treats people then I'm changing it to yellow."
Others seriously affected by this crisis are the humble blue-bottle, the mighty blue whale and Blu Tack, which has been hastily renamed to Tack. Lee Ryan from disbanded boy-band Blue added: "I'm glad we quit when we did otherwise we might have turned red with embarrassment!"
Closer to home, the large empty space above is stark proof that blue is with us no more - previously this space was an example of some of his greatest work but now the colour has literally drained away and we are left with a waste of valuable printing space. (Note that any other blue you see on the screen is because your eyes haven't adjusted yet.)
However, there are some supporters of this change. Businessman, Mr Dunne, from Barnsley, always regretted buying his shiny, blue shirt - a little too bright for him to be taken seriously in important meetings - but now he's the talk of the town as he clinches deal after deal in his 'new' colourless shirt.
Mr Parker, from Bolton, benefited even more from blue's decision - it saved his life! Mr Parker was initially distraught as he took his laundry out of his washing machine to find that a rogue blue sock had made it in with his whites - resulting in the laundry equivalent of global genocide from a far-superior alien race bent on senseless destruction; an alien race that cannot be reasoned with; an alien race that thrives on the sorrow of others; an alien race that will only rest when all is obliterated before them...
Mr Parker tearfully recollected: "I've always prided myself for having whiter-than-white whites and to see them infected by this blue, um, disease was more than I could take. I reached for my handy Smith and Wesson, which I keep for such emergencies, but before I could pull the trigger, I noticed the blue disappearing from the crotch of my favourite y-fronts."
"Blue saved my life that day," continued Mr Parker passionately, holding his favourite y-fronts close to his chest. "And I have learnt from my experience - now I only wear white to prevent any similar problems from occurring," he added, looking unintentionally like a chav in his gleaming white tracksuit.
Mr Dunne and Mr Parker are the lucky ones, however, as the rest of the world struggles with the lack of blue. Colour expert and enthusiast, Thomas Jones, of Stanisford University regards the situation severe: "This is a very serious crisis, and no time for jokes - Lee Ryan from disbanded boy-band Blue should be ashamed of himself."
An international operation is now underway to fill the colour divide, led by Thomas Jones. Other colours are unselfishly volunteering to help with the recolouring. Green and yellow are sharing the massive task of recolouring the sky. Red has volunteered to recolour blue eyes, although the rumour is that he just wants to scare people with permanent red-eye. Even the infamously lazy ecru has agreed to help by recolouring the small, blue bit in the BT logo.
A great deal of recolouring has been accomplished by Thomas Jones and his team, but it has not been appreciated by everyone. The blue-obsessed Polly Pipkins now has a multicoloured medley of possessions in her multicoloured home. She has since been discovered dead in her freezer - her frozen orange corpse was found after her meowing yellow Russian Blue cat alerted neighbours. A suicide note revealed a last desperate attempt to get some blue back into her life. Or rather, her death.
Morris Buckles, a campaigner for colour rights, supported blue's decision. "This event was inevitable - blue has taken the very brave step to highlight the poor working conditions of colours today. The hours are preposterous - literally 24 hours a day."
"We have human rights, what about colour rights?" demanded Mr Buckles. "Their attention to detail is flawless - they even colour the inside of people's arses but no-one ever thanks them for that."
Only time will tell if blue returns, but in the meantime the world is enjoying watching the French national football team playing in a fetching bright-pink kit - Allez Les Pinks!